revor and I both approached the beginning of August with intense trepidation. As 08/01 got closer, we exchanged e-mail speculating on whether, and how badly, we were both going to get flamed. I am pleased (and quite relieved) to say that I didn't receive a single negative letter. (Of course, this month's installment may change all that.)

Someone named "Ron" sent me mail I need to answer, but since his return address was "email_user_id@email_address" it was rather difficult. I would appreciate another letter with a valid return address. (The gist of my answer is "It wasn't you", but I'd like to substantiate that.)

One woman asked me why none of my advertisements targeted women. Well! Never let it be said that I was not fair: I'll make fun of anyone. So, Rebecca, just for you:

Wide shot of Jane (young, pretty, and of course blonde) working at a computer -- she breaks a nail and looks annoyed.

Cut to her walking up to her manicurist and sitting down. (Remember the one who soaks in detergent? Think of her.)

"Oh, Marge, I broke another nail on my computer keyboard today."

"Well, Jane, one of my other clients tells me that OS/2 Warp has Voice Type Dictation, which permits you to speak rather than type to your computer."

"That sounds great! I'll try it."

Wipe to Jane walking in the front of a computer store; music in the background. The next sequence has no sound other than music, with MTV-fast-cutting of images: Jane talks to a clerk. The clerk points to a shelf. Jane looks at the shelf. Close shot of the Warp package showing its logo. Jane picks it up and looks happy. Other customers watch this, nod and approve. Jane walks out of the store looking happy.

Cut to Jane sitting at her computer wearing a headset talking to her computer while filing her 10 long unbroken nails, looking even happier (it was everything she dreamed of). Zoom over-the-shoulder to her screen showing her words appearing as she speaks. Pan back to show her boss (male, of course; older, balding, but good looking in a middle-aged virile sort of way) complimenting her on the quality of her work.

Fade to black.

OK, is there anyone else I've left out?

Chris (and a couple of other people) wrote to say he liked the link to Elle MacPherson (sigh). I guess sex really does sell. I won't always be able to fit funny links into every article (though I'll do links when they make sense) but I'll try to put a small list of favorite links at the end of the article just to make sure there's something worth reading. So here they are:

Here's a link to make you laugh.

Here's a link to make you cry.

Here's a link to make you think.

Here's a link to make you wonder.

Here's a link to make you mad.

Here's a link to pictures of a pretty girl. (Sorry, Rebecca, you'll have to find your own cheap thrills. I'm not that fair.)

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